MARRIAGE THAT WORKS--The POWER of COMPROMISE

Text: I Samuel 1:23

And Elkanah her husband said unto her, Do what seemeth thee good; 

tarry until thou have weaned him; only the LORD establish his word. 

So the woman abode, and gave her son suck until she weaned him.

Some of the wisest people having avalanche of relationship tips today are the single parents, or even unmarried people and you will be wondering why the potentials they display never surfaced in their love life until what I called “finding yourself in Paris, France when you actually board the flight for Rome, Italy". Per adventure, they learn from the bumps, the humps, or the potholes of their broken relationship and they are ready to embrace the second chance opportunity. It is always said that experience is the best teacher, but I think the normal and befitting saying would be experience applied is the best teacher because few individuals repeat the same mistakes in their first relationship and they found themselves in the same rugged path again.

Of a truth, there is never anything called second chance in life. Opportunity comes, but once. The fact that you find yourself traveling on the same road was never an indication that you were meant to ply that pathway twice. However, it is better to let our past experiences govern our desires of today so that our tomorrow could be better. Besides, single parenthood as a result of natural occurrence, especially death, is in itself another escapade to deal with. It thus carries the same connotation that you plan to travel to Lagos in Nigeria, but you find yourself in Lagos, Portugal. Finding a better relationship for the surviving partner is not a second chance either. Instead, it is a continuum, and who feels it, knows it better. In reality, certain individuals continue to jump from one relationship to another, and that is the basis of my pen today.

Marriage is God’s first institution and it is the source of all other relationships. Marriage without purpose or with faulty and wrong purposes always ends up in chaos and turmoil’s as you can see amongst players in Hollywood, and now the church of God amongst the so-called men and women of God. The purpose of marriage is to unite a man (husband) and a woman (wife) together in a covenant relationship with God as it was in the beginning. Gen 2:18 says, And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. It should be on record here that man was created for love, fellowship and companionship.  Love is the fulcrum of every relationship, the foundation of every purposeful marriage. But the world has exchanged love for lust that you cannot tell what love is. Love is acted out in several instances and the supposed to be lovebird’s couple end up killing themselves out of foolishness and stupidity. If it is love in the first place, it will never be hurting. It was not love, but lust, no matter how long it survives, that is why the partners could not tolerate each other and make things work. Sometimes we see people loving each other in pretension, when the baseline was anchored on something else. All these lead to breakdown, heartbreak, broken homes that lead to divorce, which is on the alarming rate even in the house of God.

It is definitely difficult to figure out who is in love and who is not. Deception and pretension had become the order of the day and people are getting married for a whole lot of things. The house of God is not left out in the same menace of divorce because the people that ought to be waiting on the lord, or let the will of God prevails in their decisions before marriage already have their minds focused on something else even when they are hoping on God. To this, one cannot say for sure that every relationship is based on love, rather than lust as they pack up easily somehow.

In this series, it is good to know that even if your marriage was anchored on LOVE, there are nuts and bolts of a successful marriage. One of them is the Compromise, which comes from effective communication. The oil of marriage, like the oil for the engine of a car comes from effective communication that leads to compromise. No matter how we embrace communication, if it does not end in compromise, it is still useless. The two have to agree somehow. By this, I mean husband and wife needs to know that they are not going to engage in a certain decision brought up by the other before leaving the conversation table. No one should leave the table with ‘suppose’, ‘if’, ‘maybe’ etc

THE MESSAGE:-
If we look into the life of Hannah and Elkanah according to I Samuel 1:10-11, Hannah singlehandedly made a vow to God without the husband; And she was in bitterness of soul, and prayed unto the LORD, and wept sore. And she vowed a vow, and said, O LORD of hosts, if thou wilt indeed look on the affliction of thine handmaid, and remember me, and not forget thine handmaid, but wilt give unto thine handmaid a man child, then I will give him unto the LORD all the days of his life, and there shall no razor come upon his head. When it was time for Hannah to redeem this vow, it was by the grace of God that her decision of a year before did not break the house. This was where the power of compromise came into play, as the husband was able to reason with her in her option to do what she already promised God. In verses 22-23,  But Hannah went not up; for she said unto her husband, I will not go up until the child be weaned, and then I will bring him, that he may appear before the LORD, and there abide for ever. And Elkanah her husband said unto her, Do what seemeth thee good; tarry until thou have weaned him; only the LORD establish his word. So the woman abode, and gave her son suck until she weaned him. In a lot of homes today, especially homes where love was traded for something else, it would be a total chaos and fiasco, as Elkanah was never part of the deal.

Another area where power of compromise was practiced in the bible was in the life of Jacob and his two wives against their fathers (Genesis 31:4-5, 14-15). The bible said that when Jacob saw the countenance of Laban, and it was no more favorable toward him as before. So, Jacob sent and called Rachel and Leah to the field, to his flock, and said to them, “I see your father’s countenance, that it is not favorable toward me as before; but the God of my father has been with me. Now arise, get out of this land, and return to the land of your family. Then Rachel and Leah answered and said to him, “Is there still any portion or inheritance for us in our father’s house? Does he not consider us strangers? He has sold us, and also completely consumed our money. For all these riches which God has taken from our father are really ours and our children’s; now then, whatever God has said to you, do it.” Here, we saw the two sisters agreed to whatever the husband was ready to do against their dad. Any misgiving here could have spelt doom if they had not considered their husband in the place of their father. Compromise is the key to sustaining marriage, through an effective communication and that is where we are losing it today. May God give us a humble heart to see ourselves in others as we make cogent decisions, especially in our marriages.

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A BELIEVER'S PRAYER--Effective and Fervent Prayer

Acts 4:24-29

24 And when they heard that, they lifted up their voice to God with one accord, and said, Lord, thou art God, which hast made heaven, and earth, and the sea, and all that in them is……. And now, Lord, behold their threatening’s and grant unto thy servants, that with all boldness they may speak thy word,

This is my first blog for the year 2014 due to a lot of events that went on in order to wrap up the year 2013. I am grateful that we are all witnesses of this year. It is never an understatement that New Year brings with it incredible potentials for wonderful new beginnings. It is always a moment of resolution, turning over a new leaf and revisiting the journey of life. It is a time when people often plan to change habits like smoking; dieting, family, people get engaged and marry, change jobs and if possible relocate. There is always an inclination that change is an effective tool that can be instigated in the beginning of the year. Either you believe it or not, you will be surprised on a whole lot of things that people do when it comes to starting a new year.

Christians often feel like it is a time to revisit their prayer altar, encourage revival time, take on a new assignment in the vineyard etc. So, I decided to take on the assignment of looking into what else could be done to present an effective and fervent prayer to GOD in an acceptable manner. Christians all over the world do pray daily, attend seminars, organize crusades and fast, yet most of the times it seems nothing is changing. So, let me try to see why we continue to pray the same prayer over and over again. Matthew 6 answered the question posed by the disciples to the master to teach them how to pray. The master admonished them for not knowing how to pray, but gave them the sample prayer in verses 9-13. This is just a model prayer and needs not to be mistaken for the only prayer a believer can recite.

There was a mandate from God according to I Thessalonians 5:17 that we should pray without ceasing. Simply put, prayer is our minds communicating with God. It is not an option as a believer, but we need to know what we pray for when we get to the throne of grace. That is the essence of my effort here so that we can present our requests or petitions to God in an acceptable manner to elicit an answer. There is no point having a conversation with God, but could not hear us. That was why the instructions in Matthew 6:1-8 became necessary.

First we have to understand the fact that we do not pray to Jesus Christ. Instead, we pray to our GOD who art in heaven through Jesus Christ His son (John 15:16b--that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you). God wants you to bring your concerns to Him, but in a way that there would be result. You have to approach the gates of heaven with your worship and enter his court with your praise. Yet two things can keep Him from embracing you while you are in His court. Sin – going against His will, or asking for something that goes against His will.

God knows what’s best for you, but because sin separates you from Him, you must turn to His Son, Jesus Christ, who paid the price for your sins. When you do, this everlasting mercy then lifts the barrier and God hears your prayers.

It is one thing for God to hear your prayer, and it is another thing entirely for God to answer your prayer. Thus, we need Faith, as the vehicle that transports our request to God and the same faith brings back the answered prayers to us. A whole lot of people miss out in this area. They believe God answers prayer but they don’t have enough faith to know that it can happen in their life.

OBSERVATION: It will surprise you that in this politically inclined and polarized society, where everything has to be correct in a certain way, you find yourself in a mixed gathering with people of different faiths and someone just want to offer a general prayer without the name of Christ.  That's not an acceptable prayer.  So, if you are the one to lead such a prayer, make sure you pray in your own faith regardless of who is in the audience. Trying to reach out across the isle to satisfy your audience amounts to compromising your faith. At that point, you're in charge and if God hears and answers your prayer for the event or the group, then the non-Christian among them could get saved. 

Finally, to render an effective and fervent prayer that moves the hands of God, I will suggest that you adopt the style of what I called referencing/precedence/scriptural prayer, as exemplified in this text by Peter and John, where you cite the same scenario in the bible and you ask God to move. Case in point, someone praying for the fruit of the womb should know about Elizabeth and Hannah stories, then used that as the reason for God to answer. Look at what Peter & John did in Acts 4:24-30. With their boldness, they referenced what God had done before and what He told David, then the prayer point. 

In essence, there's no way we can have an effectual/a fervent prayer without knowing the word of God. It is an individual thing and I encourage us to get into the habit of searching the Scriptures daily where God actually speaks to you before you engage him in prayer. Most of the text messages and Internet prayers these days are mere excitement or possible encourager, but to have an immediate answer to your prayer, you have to know your bible. Study it and use it wisely. There are lots of prophets, evangelists, apostles, teachers and pastors among us, but we're as well running after others or those who God did not even call because we're so lazy and we could not find time to spend with God. So, we get easily frustrated when answers don't come quick.  Remember, the same people have their own shortcomings.  I hope your attitude would change this year 2014. My prayer is that God who anointed Jeremiah when he never knew who he was, and Isaac in the year that king Uzziah died, the same God will release his fresh oil upon you this season in Jesus name.

DANGER OF POSITIVE CONFESSION (I) --The Case of the Shunammite woman

Text: II Kings 4:8-37

9 And she said to her husband, “Look now, I know that this is a holy man of God, who passes by us regularly. 10 Please, let us make a small upper room on the wall……… “Call this Shunamite woman.” When he had called her, she stood before him. 13 And he said to him, “Say now to her, ‘Look, you have been concerned for us with all this care. What can I do for you? Do you want me to speak on your behalf to the king or to the commander of the army? ’She answered, “I dwell among my own people.”

Life is full of ups and downs, but we are thankful unto God that He’s a God of the mountain, as well as the God of the valley. He’s on the sea and He’s on the land. He’s the Omnipresent God. Therefore, no matter where you find yourself at any point of your journey of life, God is always there. However, in John 16:33, the bible recorded that these things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” This is like someone that is already armed for the fight ahead. There will be no need for panicking.

In discussing this topic as the lord has laid it on my heart, I pray that the Holy Spirit will give you the spirit of understanding so that you don’t misunderstand me. Don’t get me wrong. It is a good thing to confess positively, especially when you know who your God is.

The Shunammite woman in this context has a record of being a kind, generous and hospitable woman who loved to do good. Thus, her act of kindness made her to show warm affection to the prophets by providing them with room on board when she perceived that Elisha was a man of God, (v 8&9). However, she had an abnormality that she had normalized over several years and due to the circumstances and situations at the time. She was without a child, and the husband too was of age.

When the prophet seem to favor her for her act of kindness, remember one good turn deserves another, her statement was like that of our so-called Christians of today who believe in the power of positive confession. She answered, All is Well. In actuality, was all really well for this woman who already figured out that Elisha was a holy man of God? Her response was not different from what we noticed in church today when brethren would neglect the idea of telling their issues to God, especially when someone whom God had sent to them came knocking, they would start quoting scriptures, all in the name of positive confession. Can they really back up their quotation by their lifestyles?

Just ask yourself, if you are presented with the same opportunity as in verse 13 when the man of God asked, “What can I do for you?” What will your response be? Won’t you be quoting the promises of God rather than just tell it the way it is? A lot of believers had lost out in getting answers to their petitions, because at the hour of miracle, they were found wanting in their request. The bible says in Jeremiah29:13-14a that “And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you”

This Shunammite woman would have lost the glorious opportunity of being blessed, or singing a new song, but for her hospitality. Her generosity found her where her positive confession failed her. A lot of believers play the same scriptural game today, but they might not be as favored as this woman because of their attitude. Thus, there is nothing bad in saying I am not feeling fine, but I believe the power of the blood will heal me. I don’t know how to settle my bill, but I am of hope that Jehovah Nissi would provide.

Friends, you have to be in God’s court with your hands highly lifted up before you can expressly enjoy the benefits of the power in confessing positively. No wonder He said in Psalm 24 v 3&4 that “Who may ascend into the hill of the Lord?
Or who may stand in His holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart” Do you think you have clean hands and pure heart? Why then are you not placing your petition at the altar the way they are so that the one that sees in the dark and in the public will meet you at the point of your need?

Finally, another salient point that bailed out this shunammite woman was that she had touched the heart of God somehow, and that is why Elisha was obligated to see to her worries, even when the son died and God did not immediately reveal the same to the prophet. So, what are you doing for God to provoke his blessings through any of his servants or the anointed for you? Mere positive confession without knowing your God will earn you nothing regardless of how many times any prophet ask you to recite it. You need a relationship with God. You need to touch God’s heart in several ways possible to lay claim to your utterances. Remember in John 10:27, the bible recorded that “My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me” è(Watch Out for Part Two of this series)

WHAT SHALL I DO FOR YOU?

Text: II Kings 4:1-7

Now the wife of a son of the prophets cried to Elisha, 

Your servant my husband is dead, and you know that your servant feared the Lord. But the creditor has come to take my two sons to be his slaves.

Elisha said to her, What shall I do for you? 
Tell me, what have you [of sale value] in the house? …..He said, 

Go, sell the oil and pay your debt, and you and your sons live on the rest.

If you are in a fix situation and someone comes to ask you this question, what will your response be? This was the question from the Prophet to the woman according to this text. A lot of people fail to give correct response to this simple but easy question because they were never prepared for something big in their lives and/or because they have no relationship with the questionnaire. Thus, they are challenged to answer with reasonable and direct answer that could have elevated them from whatever status they happen to live in.

It is always a common saying that preparation at the knock of an opportunity is a waste. You don’t start to prepare for what you will do when you are actually require to take action by making a decision. Just consider yourself looking for a job after several futile attempts of search and you are presented with the question, “How much do you want as your salary?” A lot of people cannot successfully answer that because they have no idea what the job actually pays and out of desperation, they underscore their abilities and shortchanged themselves.

The prophet also asked the woman, “What do you have in the house?” From this, it is definitely right to say before anyone comes to GOD asking for heaven and earth, one should have a relationship with the Almighty. Relationship does not mean how many days one sleeps in church by attending one program or the other. It is not about your closeness to the pastor as we erroneously think sometimes.  It does not also take into account how many crusades or seminars and/or workshops that are Christian-based that one has attended. It has nothing to do with how much tithes and offering you bring to the storehouse. It is about you realizing the fact that you truly need GOD, as you are a sinner, and with faith, you will receive Jesus Christ as your Savior. It also means that you should include God in your daily lives—Pray to Him; Study and Meditate on the Scriptures in an effort to get to know Him better.

At this juncture, turn the searchlight to yourself and if you are asked the same question, what will your answer be? Remember, the passage says the widow was once married to one of the sons of the prophet, who feared God. Can anyone say the same about you that you fear God in the way you worship Him? You, as a head of department, or a boss in your secular job, or ministry leader and/or head pastor, do you see yourself as a God-fearing someone? Do you see the people under your leadership as a problem that you are using your position of authority to threaten them? Do you ever think of how to bring up the potentials in the people that are subordinate to you and seek for ways to develop them instead of setting up innuendoes to dishonor them? If you are not having issues with several of these questions, and you are just comfortable because they speak about you, then there is a problem. How then do you come to God to seek for multiplicity of blessings or the supernatural power in your assignment or undertaking when you underrate His creation?

The woman also had something in the house that the prophet wants to use to prove the miraculous power of God. Just like the case of king Hezekiah in II Kings 20:1 where Prophet Isaiah delivered a message that he should Set his house in order, for he shall die; and shall not recover. King Hezekiah pleaded with God for more years after reminding God of his faithfulness and what he had done. Thereafter, God honored his plea, as more years were added to his day. What do you have as a reason to answer the above question successfully so that God will know that you ought to be blessed indeed? 

YOUR FUTURE IS IN YOUR HANDS (II)--The Story of the Prodigal Son's Brother

^{Text: Luke 15:11-32}

 “Now his older son was in the field. And as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. And he said to him, ‘Your brother has come, and because he has received him safe and sound, your father has killed the fatted calf.’“But he was angry and would not go in. Therefore his father came out and pleaded with him. So he answered and said to his father, ‘Lo, these many years I have been serving you; I never transgressed your commandment at any time; and yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might make merry with my friends. But as soon as this son of yours came, who has devoured your livelihood with harlots, you killed the fatted calf for him............’

I once posited in part one of this message that "What You Practice is What You Become". To say that you know what to do but fail to do it does not mean that you will be rewarded for it. How many people would have loved to go to the moon, but would not dare to try to find out what it takes to get there? More rightly said is the fact that you cherish or detest success does not mean that you will be successful or otherwise. Everything still come back to the decision you daily make about your future.Most people have spent their lives practicing the idea to stop going forward themselves by doing what they are doing or chide away from the truth by mere excuse of "it runs in the family". Yet, when they come to Christ, their opinion never change. It still runs in the family...Then you wonder what the bible says in II Cor 5: 17 that therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

In my years of working as a law enforcement officer in the streets of New York City, I have seen people beating themselves up about doing such a good job of setting up barrier or limitation for themselves. They have become experts at not taking action and justifying their apparent failure by convincing themselves that there must be something wrong with them. Yet nothing could be further from the truth. Something is sure wrong. I have come to realize that the reason people fail is not because there's something that is actually wrong with them, but it is because they fail to realize that failure is part of the process of success. How many times people complain of the color of their skin, or their ascents, or educational background for their failure? Even in Christendom where the bible says wherever your foot tread, I will give you for possession. How many christians dare to dream and exercise their God given mandate. In the book of Genesis 1:28, God commanded the first blessing unto mankind called the five-fold blessings, Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

Your Future is in your hands and what you make out of it is what you become. In this story, focus has always been on the prodigal son and the passage clearly explained how the so-called boy messed around with his future by his request. Though, he squandered what he was given but he never found it too difficult to make a U-turn and go back to his father. Many at times, in our life endeavor, we must have taken certain decisions that cost us our advancement in life, but we should rather be humble in acknowledging our faults and move on with life. Inability to make a choice in life is itself a choice as well. That was the case of the prodigal son's brother who never took the risk of asking for anything, but was very angry about the warm reception that his father gave to his younger brother.

If we take that to the church today, we see a lot of individuals in our places of worship who see others as unfit for God, behaving like Jonah. Such individuals felt like God must act certain way and refuse to extend warm hands to newcomers in their midst. A whole lot of people set up man-made barriers based on selfish ulterior motives instead of embracing the love of Christ. My encouragement with this prodigal son's brother who was very angry is that his father never wronged him because he never made any move in the first place. The bible says in Eccl 9:10 that Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might; for there is no activity or planning or knowledge or wisdom in Sheol where you are going. Your Future in Your Hands. So, make a decision today because if you don't start, you won't finish. 
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